Obama Guns Down Cheney, Bush in Jokefest

All reports from the D.C. Press Corps is that the Saturday night’s annual roast at the Gridiron Club produced some of the funniest remarks of the year from Bush, Cheney and the White House All Stars (considering, of course, only those remarks intended to be funny).

But, as a native Illinoisian, I can’t pass up this opportunity to reprint some of the classic lines delivered by freshman Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL), as gleaned from Chicago Tribune White House reporter and blogger Mark Silva.

I’ll print some highlights, but do yourself a favor and read the entire wrap.

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice was absent this year, as she was in South America to get up to speed with newly elected Bolivian President and former coca farmer Evo Morales en route to the swearing-in ceremony for Chilean President Michele Bachelet.

None of this kept Obama from throwing a bone at Rice:

“You know, the president promised a muscular foreign policy. And anyone who’s seen the Condi Rice workout tapes knows he means business.”

Cheney, as could be expected, was railed upon by everyone, including his boss protege, Dubya. But Barack was relentless:

“The truth is, I’m terrified to be here. Not because you’re such a tough audience, but because they’re serving drinks. I’m standing about 30 yards from the vice president, and I’m a lawyer. The only thing that could make this more dangerous is if he considered me a friend.

“Mr. vice president, I know you came here expecting to be a target, which, it turns out, may prove easier for you than shooting at one,” […] “You’ve taught us a valuable lesson. “Aim higher.”

Kind Tribune blogger Silva did not stop there, reproducing Obama’s further rips on Dick and Lynne.

Before launching into song (“If I Only Had McCain” – recounting the recent tension reported in the press between himself and the Republican Senator from Arizona, Obama referenced the Grammy he won in February:

“I’ll tell you, that Grammy was a big surprise. I thought, for sure Jack Abramoff would win for his rendition of ‘It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp.'”

Ironically, Bush found much humor in this line, eliciting a “big belly laugh” Silva noted parenthetically, despite the president’s contention that he doesn’t even know who Abramoff is.

The Sun-Times has an equally expansive report in their blog. For more B-Rock, see the transcript or video from Sunday’s lame interview by Face the Nation’s Bob Schieffer.